God is Forgiving

 Every time I look at my bowls in the Amish Butterprint pattern (Pyrex pattern from the late 1950's-1960's), they remind me of my mother-in-law, Shirley Amundson.  When I first met Shirley in l965, her kitchen was turquoise - countertop, appliances, dishes, and - of course - Amish Butterprint bowls.  It was such a cheerful kitchen, with bright yellow walls as I remember.  Crisply washed, starched, and ironed curtains adorned the kitchen window in that modest ranch home in those days.

Shirley was a delightful person, and anyone's dream for a mother-in-law. She was smart, funny, forgiving, patient, intuitive, and loved her family.  She loved to crochet, decorate, garden, keep a tidy home, cook, and be a good wife for her husband, Dennis.

My (then) boyfriend and I spent a lot of time at his parents' home during the latter 1960's.  Many conversations were shared with Dennis and Shirley over meals - holidays and otherwise.  During those years, we took many road trips to their extended family in northern Colorado, enjoying each other's company.  What I mostly remember now is that Shirley was a gem of a person and I was blessed to have had her as family.

In the years following our wedding in 1969, my husband, Bill, and I bought and sold homes, and bore two wonderful sons. After 11 years of marriage, we moved far away from home.  Shirley and Dennis moved away also, to their childhood town deep in Wisconsin.  Unfortunately, not all our family changes were positive. My husband and I divorced in 1983, remarried, and divorced again. The years of divorce were terribly difficult for our family.  Even through our family changes, we renained close to Shirley and Dennis.

One day in mid-1996, Shirley died in Dennis's arms after awakening with severe chest pain. Their marriage had been long and woven together with a thick braid of love.  Looking back, I marvel at their fine devotion to each other through good times and bad.

With such a good mother-in-law, was I a perfect daughter-in-law?  No - I can't say that I was. Did I always think of Shirley unselfishly, looking for ways to reach out to her and show how treasured she was?  No.  How incredibly quickly life zooms by and we lose those we love.  I wish I had realized then what I know now - that time is fleeting, and we must not miss God's opportunities to do the right thing.  

What do I do with this feeling that I should have been a more unselfish, level, devoted daughter-in-law? How can I resolve this?  I realize that although I certainly wasn't the perfect daughter-in-law, I have a perfect God who forgives.  Through His forgiveness, God has brought beauty out of ashes (Isaiah 61:3) through healing, encouragement, new experiences and new lessons learned. 

Now I realize that each new day comes complete with new opportunities to live out Micah 6:8, "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

To Shirley - With Love,

Susie

God is Satisfying

Every so often, I marvel at something that has happened in my life as a result of God working.

This week (it's now Thursday) has been a Mid-winter Break from work, and so I've been home with Annah and Vivie for the week.  We have slept late (for me, that's 6 a.m. instead of 4:45 a.m.), stayed up late (for Annah and Vivie, that's 9 p.m. instead of 7 p.m.), watched movies anytime of the day "just because" and had a routine-free week of rest and simple pleasure.

Something new has occured to me this week - I am satisfied.  Personally, I've always been the "glass half-empty" person who wanted more, longed for different, and didn't feel "quite there."  Not any more!  This week has unfolded as a gift - wrapped in pretty paper and tied with a big fabric bow.

Annah and Vivie are just four, and their delights are in Fisher-Price little people and cars, dollies with changeable outfits, a herding sheltie puppy they call their own, and one Momma who loves them dearly. They love their friends and family and are learning about loving God.  All they want is time and love and care. 

Don't we all!

In the simplest ways this week, God has shown how He cares not only for these little ones but also for me.  He has blessed our little family with the time to rest, read together, laugh, play puzzles, share meals, walk, and more.  God has made this week a satisfying - not looking for more but a  "resting-in-the-moment time."  I will remember this week.

I will remain grateful - and am satified.  Thank you, God.

Susie

Psalm 91:1 and 16  "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.   (God says...) With a long life I will satisfy him, and let him behold My salvation."


Annah and her ice cream sundae



Vivie and her ice cream sundae



Vivie and Annah after we all finished their 2nd 100-piece puzzle

 

God is Merciful

Reading through the Bible in a year, and now in the 18th day, I am struck with the absolute wonder of God's mercy. 

Since becoming a believer in 1979, I have always loved the concept of grace.  "Undeserved favor."  I even picked that precious concept in a word as a name for my first (greatly-loved and prayed-for) adopted daughter, Mary Grace.  I love contemplating on the fact that God, who is Perfect and Pure, extends so many undeserved favors to us who believe in Him.  I love accepting grace, and I love thanking God for grace He has given!

But, mercy - mercy is different.  Richer and more packed with awe, to me!  Instead of receiving something wonderful we don't deserve (grace), mercy is like not receiving something we do deserve!  One definition displays mercy as "shown by a judge toward a convict." 

Many times in my life, even as a believer, I have sinned greatly.  Some time after the sin (sometimes "keeping short accounts with God" and sometimes wrestling for a time - even years) when I have confessed my sin to God and received His forgiveness, I have also received the blessing of mercy.  I have been a "convict" - convicted - and God is the righteous Judge - He has pardoned me and blessed me still.

How can it be, Lord?  And it's surely not just "all about me!"  God, you extend this Hand - this Holy Hand - of mercy to all -

Free indeed!
Susie

God is Humbling

After finishing the reading of Genesis 4-7 and looking into Matthew Henry's commentaries about the same, my mind is whirling:  There is so much in those chapters!  People born, people died, people who "walked with God" (Enoch), and those who forever left a relationship with God (Cain), etc.

Those chapters are not just a chronicle of lives, but a strong and clear teaching of what following God "looks like."

My mind is still whirling - that God would even continue to extend His hand (counsel, direction, help, mercy, grace, love) to people - that He would even continue to do the very same to me, just one person in all of mankind - is incredibly humbling.

I love you, Lord. Thank you for the immensity of Goodness that You are! 

God is Purposeful

Above my computer are old framed photographs - one is of my Dad and his brother (my Uncle Norman), which was taken in 1916, when Dad was six and Uncle Norman was one.  It's a precious picture at the start of their lives - such a treat to imagine their childhoods - almost 100 years ago.  One boy is in a high-collared starched shirt and tie, and one in what could be a christening gown.

Dad's been with the Lord since 1980, and Uncle Norman went to be with the Lord in the last 10 years.  Remembering them fills my mind with sweet thoughts of kind and gentle men. 

And here on February 1, 2011 on this early morning, after reading the first of our "read through the Bible" year's program, I sit in this quiet home.  A cup of fresh, hot coffee.  Looking at this old photo of my Dad and Uncle Norman --- imagining their lives as they grew.  Thinking about my four-year-old twins asleep in their beds.  My twins - by adoption - by God's plan.

God was there then - with those little boys in the photograph (Dad and Uncle Norman), at the beginning of their lives in 1916.  God is here now - almost 100 years later, as other little ones (Annah and Vivie) sleep soundly before their day begins.

"A Father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation. God sets the solitary in families." Psalm 68-5-6a

God is purposeful,
Susie