God is Forgiving

 Every time I look at my bowls in the Amish Butterprint pattern (Pyrex pattern from the late 1950's-1960's), they remind me of my mother-in-law, Shirley Amundson.  When I first met Shirley in l965, her kitchen was turquoise - countertop, appliances, dishes, and - of course - Amish Butterprint bowls.  It was such a cheerful kitchen, with bright yellow walls as I remember.  Crisply washed, starched, and ironed curtains adorned the kitchen window in that modest ranch home in those days.

Shirley was a delightful person, and anyone's dream for a mother-in-law. She was smart, funny, forgiving, patient, intuitive, and loved her family.  She loved to crochet, decorate, garden, keep a tidy home, cook, and be a good wife for her husband, Dennis.

My (then) boyfriend and I spent a lot of time at his parents' home during the latter 1960's.  Many conversations were shared with Dennis and Shirley over meals - holidays and otherwise.  During those years, we took many road trips to their extended family in northern Colorado, enjoying each other's company.  What I mostly remember now is that Shirley was a gem of a person and I was blessed to have had her as family.

In the years following our wedding in 1969, my husband, Bill, and I bought and sold homes, and bore two wonderful sons. After 11 years of marriage, we moved far away from home.  Shirley and Dennis moved away also, to their childhood town deep in Wisconsin.  Unfortunately, not all our family changes were positive. My husband and I divorced in 1983, remarried, and divorced again. The years of divorce were terribly difficult for our family.  Even through our family changes, we renained close to Shirley and Dennis.

One day in mid-1996, Shirley died in Dennis's arms after awakening with severe chest pain. Their marriage had been long and woven together with a thick braid of love.  Looking back, I marvel at their fine devotion to each other through good times and bad.

With such a good mother-in-law, was I a perfect daughter-in-law?  No - I can't say that I was. Did I always think of Shirley unselfishly, looking for ways to reach out to her and show how treasured she was?  No.  How incredibly quickly life zooms by and we lose those we love.  I wish I had realized then what I know now - that time is fleeting, and we must not miss God's opportunities to do the right thing.  

What do I do with this feeling that I should have been a more unselfish, level, devoted daughter-in-law? How can I resolve this?  I realize that although I certainly wasn't the perfect daughter-in-law, I have a perfect God who forgives.  Through His forgiveness, God has brought beauty out of ashes (Isaiah 61:3) through healing, encouragement, new experiences and new lessons learned. 

Now I realize that each new day comes complete with new opportunities to live out Micah 6:8, "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

To Shirley - With Love,

Susie